Tag Archives: Costa Rica

Are you Nucking Futs?

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We did it!  We moved our family of 6 to the magical land of Costa Rica and the next few blogs will provide insight as to how we made this decision and the physical/emotional journey of actually manifesting our desires in to action.

The seed was planted roughly 5 years ago when Adam and I first visited Costa Rica. There was a vibrancy, an energy that felt like home to me.  Time and time again, I questioned how we could make a move to Costa Rica happen but never made a strong effort to answer that question.  While the yearning to live in this tropical wonderland never really subsided, I allowed life to dictate a path for me.  I chose to be a spectator to my life rather than an active participant.

Fast forward 5 or so years and I found myself living in Arlington, Texas, and I was very aware of the nagging feeling that this was not the place for me (or my family).  I had this belief that I could (and should) be happy anywhere.  I had plenty of “rational” conversations with myself about how I should be content.  I owned a beautiful home on a small pond in a upscale neighborhood.  I had many friends.   The kids had friends.  I had two thriving businesses.  Adam had a well-paying full time gig.  My kids were attending top-rated schools.  I had a rich social life with zumba, bootcamp, yoga, pokeno, parties, etc.  I had easy access to every type of food, entertainment, store I could imagine. I was living “better” than probably more than 90% of the world’s population and, yet, no matter how much I rationalized how I should be feeling, I wasn’t feeling it.  Something was amiss and and I could no longer continue to ignore that pull.  I could continue to allow life to happen to me or I could listen to the call, drop fear, and start creating the life that was calling me forth.  Of course, my life consists of more than just MY wants and desires so I needed to be responsible in how I approached this questioning.  We are a family of six and it mattered that all members felt they had a voice in where the journey would lead us and what constituted a life of fullness for each of us individually and us as a group.
Searching for this answer came so very easily when we approached it one tiny step at a time.  The first step was acknowledging the pull, the whispers of my heart.  Without judgment.  Without any shoulds or should-nots.  The second step was to present my desires of change to my life partner and four boys.  And once they were on board with the idea of imagining/creating a different life path (because it turns out all of us were feeling misplaced/misaligned in our Texas life) we took the very next step.  We needed to know WHY we wanted to make the change.  We didn’t need to know what those changes would look like or how they would come to fruit or even if they would come to fruit but we needed to be very clear about WHAT needed to change.

So we sat down and made a values list.  What did we as a family value?
Our list looked like this….

values

Quality Time. Nature. Slower Pace of Life. Cleaner Eating. Simplicity. Lower Cost of Living. Community. Education Model/Support. Spiritual Health. Eco-conscious (off-grid). Cooperation. Sustainability. Personal Freedom.  Culture of Like-Mindedness.  Social Medicine.  Less Government.  Less Capitalism.  Sharing.  Shared Responsibility.  Equality. Encouragement of Play.  Multi-generational Influences.  Peaceful Spaces.  Mindful Consumption.  Empowerment.  Inspired Career.

And just like that we were all in agreement of what we valued, what values were currently out of alignment, and what we wanted to set out to manifest.

We have referred to this ‘values list’ a million times over during the exploratory and transitional period of the last 8-9 months.  Every time someone has asked us, “Why are you moving to Costa Rica?”  We know why!  Every time someone has mentioned that we may be nucking futs.  And, every time we have questioned our own sanity and decision making capabilities.  We just pull up this list and breathe in the absolute knowing, “ahhhhhh, yes, this is exactly why we are doing what we are doing.”

In response to all those who have questioned if we are nucking futs?  Absolutely nucking futs!  But at least we are nucking futs with values!

 

 

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The Road to OZ

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The Road to OZ

It’s been 2.5 years since I last sat down and gave attention to this blog.  Since I gave attention to the writing I love so dearly and the tool in which I most effectively process life’s shifting landscape.   The tool that allows me to bring connection to my circles.

In these 2.5 years, I have been wrestling with purpose, passion, values, self-worth, belief, and a loud inner critic that has invited me to play small.  I bought in to the lies of that critic.  The lies that it doesn’t matter if I write my stories.  It doesn’t matter if I share those stories.  It doesn’t matter if I stop bringing you in to my world.  It doesn’t matter if I live in alignment with my integrity and values system.  It doesn’t matter if I shave off a little edge of my authenticity to help people digest my life’s journey.  I bought in to the lie that in order to stay safe, to survive, I had to shed a part of me that others may not appreciate.  I chose silence.  I chose complacency.  I chose to don the masks.

At the beginning of 2017 (my 40th birthday), I began to tame that nasty inner critic.  I got clear on my values. I stepped back in to alignment.  I started creating visions of all that I wanted to manifest and I threw caution to the wind taking a trust fall straight in to the arms of the loving Universe.  I had Absolute clarity that it was time to quit playing small and it was time to step in to my power.

So it turns out that it DOES matter if I share my stories.  It matters to me.  And when I flow from that place of alignment, that place of listening, my stories stir something in others because we are all connected.  We are all taking this life journey together.  My story is your story or the story of someone you know.   I hope my sharings will inspire, push boundaries, cause you to listen to your universal nudges, step in to alignment with yourself and your 2017-07-13 07.56.57values, take risks, spark imagination, and if nothing else, help you to connect to the world around you.  Sitting here, at my desk in the Costa Rican Rainforest (more on that to come!), letting the words spill out of me, I have this elation.   I’m semi-giddy with excitement.  I’m hopeful the story munchkins will forgive my 2.5 year denial of their existence and visit me often going forward.   I’m fully committed to honoring the words whispered to me in the night, and on my runs, and any time they smack me upside the head singing in their munchkin voices, “This world you are experiencing is just SO magnificent.  Share the wonderment! Follow the yellow brick road.”

This blog will continue to cover a vast array of topics that will include family adventures, travel, living in Costa Rica, nature-inspired learnings, and general sharings of something that lights me up or makes me go hmmmm.  I will continue to spill the thoughts of living a freethinking, open-spirited family life.  I will have a secondary wordpress blog at SoGoodSoPure (coming very soon!) that will cover topics related to my Coaching Business.  There you will find topics geared toward women who are wanting to shed shame, learn vulnerability, find their authentic voice, step in to their unique power, and begin sharing their gifts with the world.  Both blogs will continue to be intimate and sometimes raw in their content.  Not all stories are happy stories but that does not lessen their need to be shared.  Life is messy and in the messy is where we feel most alone. Sharing our stories can be the catalyst of connection and ease our loneliness.  This is what I seek to do.  I fully believe that a life unmasked, a life untidy, is a life worth living. And the more we show up authentically in this big big world the more the world will heal.

That said, it weighed heavily on me as to whether or not I should go through and deleteyellowbrickroad the old posts in this blog as some are controversial, some are angry, and some are misplaced, and some I no longer identify with.  I concluded that those blogs are the bricks that paved my yellow brick road.  The stories, releases, perspectives, and feelings were necessary and are NOT meant to be erased in order to appease an audience of readers.  If you aren’t a fan of the journey I traveled to be where I am today, no problem.  Maybe instead, appreciate that the journey brought you the content you are reading today.  These new sharings of my life experiences/observances are the next yellow bricks in what is certain to be a lifetime of brick laying because I’m not certain one ever reaches OZ.

Journey On, Readers.   Journey On.

Dialogue with Costa Rica

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I’ve just spent this fabulous three day weekend in an intensive journaling workshop in which individuals dig deep in to their subconscious and really do some very therapeutic and challenging psychological work.  While today was very challenging and gave me painful insight in to my most important relationship with myself and my other most important relationship with the man I love, I also had some beautiful remembrances.  Many things are far too personal to share here but over the next few days I feel it would be lovely to share some of the lighter entries from my spiritual journal.  On a side note, if any of you ever have the opportunity to take a Progoff Intensive Journaling Workshop I would HIGHLY recommend it.

Today  I was asked to recall an oxygen moment.  An oxygen moment is a point in my life when I felt that everything was just as it should be and I felt completely whole.  Once I had chosen a moment in my life, then I was to dialogue with that moment and reflect on what it had to teach me about my life today.  So what follows is my dialogue with Costa Rica.

A:  I don’t think a day goes by when I don’t think of the time I spent with you.
CR:  I will forever live in you.
A:  I believe that to be true.  I became more spiritual and self aware after being with you.
CR:  What moments do you remember?
A:  That’s the amazing thing.  I remember so much.  I’ve held on to sensations, sights, sounds, people…even the looks of love on Adam’s face.  They are all so vivid.  They’ve become a part of me.
CR:  Just tell me all the ones you can remember in the next 3 minutes.
A:  I remember:
Waking to the monkeys dropping seeds on the tin roof
Lizano Sauce
Kelly and her 2 hour massage
Bike rides to town
White water rafting and the abundance of trees
Sunsets at the ocean
“Highway”
Cinnamon Bark
Spiders on my face
Eating live termites
Cutting a coconut
Sloths
The feel of a wax wing
Vipers
Warm Sun
Making love while Adam held me in a window
A car ride across the country
A neck brace
Tomato Soup
A love letter from Adam “I’ve never questioned you”
A cockroach on Adam’s face
Making love in flower petals
A natural hot spring
Feelings of being embraced in unconditional love
Suspension Bridges
A 15 year anniversary dinner surprise
I could go on and on and on but my 3 minutes is up.
CR:  Wow!  You remember a lot!
A:  Yes, more than any other trip and the funny thing is I only have about 6 or 7 pictures from this trip.  I was just living it.  Taking it moment by moment.  And it’s stayed with me.
CR:  What feeling did you leave with?
A:  The feeling that Adam and I were so lucky to have each other.  The knowing that I needed to simplify my life.  I needed to spend more quality time with the boys and a knowing that nature is my healer.
CR:  Why have you not come back?
A:  Life changed
CR:  Go deeper
A:  Because I am afraid to feel that alive again.  I’m afraid that I’m losing all I believed in.
CR:  What do you know to be true today?
A:  That nature is still my healer.  Adventure still calls me.  I can find wholeness again.  I want Adam beside me the next time I visit you.

Feedback:  As I read this I feel heavy that I’ve been neglecting a part of myself.  Of course I don’t feel whole…I let nature go when I left Soldier Trail.  I let adventure go when Adam and I pulled apart.  I stopped growing when I stopped hoping for bigger things.  I stopped healing in ways that are vital for me.  I died.