We went camping over the weekend and in the spirit of not being shower hogs at the state park, we buddied up and showered together. I haven’t showered with the boys in a long time so needless to say I heard some great things!
My shower with P:
P: Mom, breasts are funny.
Me: They are? Why?
P: They look like ice cream cones. There’s the cone and then the round round part looks like a scoop of vanilla ice cream and then the red nipple is the cherry on top.
Me: It’s definitely the cherry on top.
Me: I meant I can see exactly what you are saying. Breasts are kinda funny.
Getting dressed after shower:
P: What are those things you are putting on your arms?
Me: They’re called arm sleeves. They keep my arms warm.
P: I know why they don’t go all the way up. Can I say why?
Me: Of course. Why?
P: Because your shoulders are kind of fat.
Me: That’s an interesting conclusion. I’ve never been told that my shoulders are fat. You are the very first person to say that.
P: Sorry. I guess I should’ve just said your shoulders are the F word then it would still be a secret that your shoulders are fat.
Me: It’s okay, P. I appreciate your honesty and you were nice about it.
P: Mom, I can tell you all the bad words you shouldn’t say. There’s the Sh word: Shut up. The F word is fat. The L word is liar. The St word is stupid. The I word is idiot. The D word is Dumb. The M word is maniac but the Br word is a good one. Every time I say “he called me a brainiac”, you say “that’s awesome.” So it’s a good one.
Me: Awesome stuff to know. You sure know a lot of words you shouldn’t say.
P: Well, yeah, my brothers and I say them sometimes.
Me: Yeah, we all say bad words sometimes.
Shower with G (about 3 minutes in to my turn):
G: Mom, I need to get out of this room! Your girl parts are starting to creep me out.
Me: My girl parts aren’t creepy.
G: Yeah, they totally are creepy. Weird and creepy. Hurry up and finish.
Me: Just close your eyes if they’re so creepy.
G: Oh, good idea. I’ll close my eyes and face the wall.
Me: Good plan. And next time you can shower with dad.