As parents I think it’s very important to celebrate the tiniest of successes. We too often spend our quiet moments rehashing all the ways we’ve failed our kids or the many ways our kids are not measuring up. We find ourselves in the negative space of mommy guilt that is lightyears from a truthful voice of reason. It’s time we reject the adverse voices and instead beat the drums of triumphs. Even if that drum is mouse-sized and hardly audible.
In the spirit of finding my positive zen, I am letting go of misplaced mommy guilt. I am a damn good mom even if every moment is not fairytales and roses. Even if some days are epic fails. Even if I can’t always see that truth through the messy house, the fighting kids, the crapping dog, the unemployed husband and my own crazy madness.
But today I can see. The successes are always there. Whether or not they are elevated is my choice.
Drums to Beat:
Yesterday was the agonizing IEP meeting and with new teachers, a new school, and even new state requirements I have to admit I was more than dreading this appointment. When you raise special needs children you deal with a lot of disappointments and you have to fight to get your child’s needs met way too often. There’s a lot of dead end roads. So even though this triumph cannot be owned by him it is very positive progress and definitely a win. In this case we celebrate the fantastic staff who see my son for all of his possibilities instead of all of his downfalls. We celebrate the fact that there are people who are already working with him and developing plans to help him succeed. We celebrate the awesomeness of our new state and the fact that they are providing all of the tools he needs (no out of pocket expense to us!). Every headphone, ball chair, fidget, pencil…Covered! And they were already on top of his state testing so he has one-on-one testing next week and can use all his manipulatives (including calculator) for the math section of his test. So while the success was not by his own doing we still celebrate because he has a team of people leading him to a plethora of future successes!
This child is a math whiz. It’s insane the way he can manipulate numbers and make sense of anything numerical. But reading has been another story (haha see what I did there?). It has been a struggle and this is not a child who appreciates a struggle. Enter a move to a new reading class and 3 weeks later we are celebrating the click. Reading finally clicked! He is now devouring books and has a whole new confidence. Woot Woot!!!!
His successes are harder to measure. By the world’s standard he’s highly successful. He’s smart, reading is easy, math makes sense, he’s athletic, people like him, yada yada. But I don’t want to measure success that way. What makes us successful is so much deeper than what can be measured. I want to celebrate the moments that he lets me in to that closed up world of his. So this week I’m screaming YAHOO at this picture taken while sledding over the weekend. I know he let his guard down a little bit when he posed for this shot and that is worth millions more than any success proved by a piece of paper or standard.
Another one of our boys very close to needing the services of a special-ed team. Kinder started off pretty rough and he had a hard time adjusting to a full day of working on the ABCs, numbers, friendships, art…you know, all the expectations of being 6! Mad amounts of praise for him as he hasn’t given up and this week he actually made huge progress with the recognition of alphabetical sounds and his snap words! Way to go!
We are far from perfect but perfect would be uninteresting and pointless and leave us nothing worth celebrating. So here’s to the failures and successes that make each of us and each of our triumphs mad props worthy!