*Warning! Spoiler Alert!* & R-rating
Today’s blog is a twofer. Two for one. Enjoy!
When I began this blog back in early 2011 I had originally named it Shades of Grey. The title was very fitting considering I had left christianity after coming to the realization that the world is indeed not black and white. I began to get a very firm grasp on the fact that there are varying shades of grey in nearly every aspect of this thing we like to call life. And when we get stuck thinking that there is simply black and white/right and wrong we alienate ourselves, we fail to grow, and we go to war against those who believe our black should be white or our white should be black. I started Shades of Grey to challenge those around me (myself included) to stop spouting off rote answers to life’s big dilemmas and instead masticate on these things and discover the whys of our beliefs, prejudices and practices. Does society tell me to think this way? Does my god or religion demand it? Is there proof that concretely discredits what I am choosing to believe? Do my beliefs make any logical sense? Am I willing to become uncomfortable and try changing the blacks and whites in my life? This is what I was challenging. Examining the different shades of grey between black and white has helped me to push myself, sometimes in really uncomfortable ways, to evolve.
I began this blog before the global sensation of Fifty Shades of Grey was an international maniacal craze. Now that nearly every woman and man with Wifi or a bookstore nearby knows Fifty Shades I have found that it is time to switch my blog name from Shades of Grey to Thinking With Vitality. This will save all the poor, unsuspecting folks who have accidentally stumbled across my blog by googling words like sex, naked, and christian grey. If only I had pictures of Christian Grey naked while having sex! Even I might be addicted to that blog 😉 But, I don’t.
Besides the fact that all the wrong people were shopping my blog it was simply time for a change. I’m not as angry now as when I first came out as an atheist. Life is brighter. I’m not in a constant state of pissed offness (although I still get there and still have plenty to say!). Therefore my page should reflect that. You’ll notice the colors are more vibrant. The bio has changed. There will be more positive posts mixed in. But the platform is the same. You’ll read about religion, politics, family, adoption, women’s rights, crazy events, sexuality, acceptance and posts that are simply reflections of my general interests.
The challenge is the same: think, test yourself, quit being complacent and possibly consider moving forward in a whole new direction.
While I am semi on topic with shades of grey I figure let’s make this entry a two-for-one. Two topics with the same name. One blog. It’s your lucky day! Fifty Shades of Grey book thoughts are coming up here in section two so do NOT continue if you are concerned about spoilers or are sensitive to topics of sexuality.
Yes, I’ve happily read the Fifty Shades trilogy and even passed it along to friends and family. If you are a woman or a man who has not benefited in the bedroom from this steamy series I would suggest you at least give it a peek or two. I mean it’s unrealistic sex on every other page of each book. With all of that sex it’s hard to avoid a little “kinky fuckery”. There’s a little something for every one. There are fast cars, bad guys, good guys, jealousy, helicopter crashes, money, ties, whips, braids and handcuffs. Oh and did I mention there is sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, and more sex?
My girlfriends and I have discussed this series in length. Some friends so completely bummed with the realization that when they were finished reading, Christian Grey would no longer be a part of their nightly escape. Some friends found the series to be a very bad idea for relationships because it left them wanting more from their boyfriends/husbands. I, on the other hand, found the books as a great tool to try out some new and exciting…..ummmmmm…..things. And, of course, my husband was more than willing to comply with my new discoveries. I happen to be of the belief that Christian and Ana will always be with me even after the books have long left my shelf. Simply because the fantasy of their story pushes and challenges the realm of my own sexuality.
The books had very little depth. The characters were not a clear improvement from the teenage Twilight vampires and werewolves (which I devoured too!). Hmmmm, what does that say about me? I like things of little depth? Ha! Sorry, I digress…the story line may be even less developed than Twilight. There are flaws. For example, the extent of Christian’s possessiveness of Anastasia. But it’s not a story of depth that we are seeking when we pick up these books. It’s fantasy that we are after. And fantasy you will get. I mean who realistically holds a full time job, hits the gym enough to be in perfect shape, hunts down crazy people, attends galas and balls, has time for extended family, travels and still manages to have sex multiple times a day with back to back orgasms? That is fantasy. Fiction. According the the dictionary it is “An unrealistic or improbable supposition”. And the last bit of fantasy is so blech and unrealistic. I’ll just tell you the author completely blew all the euphorics I had while reading when she wrote a pregnancy and baby in to the third book. That immediately popped my utopian bubble! Again, I digress…
While the books are subsurface entertainment I think they serve an important societal value. These books have opened the door for women to openly speak about their sexual fantasies and desires in a way that men have long had the shameless privilege. We are saying that our sexuality matters too! We do this by purchasing Fifty Shades of Grey, engaging in progressive conversations, allowing ourselves the freedom to fantasize, implementing some of the more fantastical sexual situations of the book in our own bedrooms (or elevators if you prefer), voting for what man fulfills the Christian fantasy for us on the big screen, and anticipating with great excitement the day when Girls Night Out will involve women in droves filling up theaters getting a little lusty and carnivorous over Christian Grey, releasing that part of our sexual freedom that we have stifled for far too long. Shades of Grey along with female pleasure toys being sold in drugstores and films like Hysteria are setting the stage for a revolution of female sexuality. I happen to think that’s a very positive step in the right direction.
Men, it’s the season of gift giving, and if you want to gift yourself and gift your significant other with one purchase buy this series. Let your girl get turned on reading, maybe even read some of it with her and be there when she’s ready to release some of that pent up energy. You’ll both benefit! If you are not short on cash or space or adventure, hell, build your woman a red room of pain!
Ladies, buy it for your girlfriends. Talk about it. Laugh about it. Be free and accepting in your discussions. Share gritty, personal details and begin appreciating that we, too, are sexual beings with needs, wants, and fanciful desires. Let the revolution begin.
Color palette: www.Printeresting.com
Tim Minchin quote: www.thepositiveatheist.com
Actors for Christian Grey: www.buzzsugar.com
Christian Grey quote: www.50shadesquotes.tumblr.com
Couple reading: www.sheknows.com