I didn’t plan on blogging today as I just have too much to do during this busy season but I saw this video today and felt I must pass it on. Prepare to be moved to tears. This video is as raw and genuine as it gets. My thoughts after you have watched.
I feel your pain. I see you. You are finding your voice at 14. I found mine at 33. Your scars are visible. My scars are not. Your bullies are unthoughtful people that have caused you to doubt your beauty. My bullies are imaginary and have caused me years of beliefs of inadequacies and years of beliefs that I am not good enough. You cause yourself physical pain because you believe you deserve it. I cause myself emotional pain because I believe I deserve it. You have shame. I do too. I’ve done things I’m not proud of too. I’ve judged and condemned a lot of people who may have been like you. You are releasing the shame of what you are not proud of. I am too. We are not so different, Jonah. In fact we are very much alike.
I see your tears because I know them as they have been my own. They are tears of a person who will no longer be silenced. Tears of a person choosing to own their truth regardless of the cost. Tears of a person who so desperately NEEDS to believe that they are worth the fight even if they don’t yet believe it. Tears of a person who is choosing to be honest and vulnerable. Tears of a person who is scared shitless but knows that if they don’t speak up they will forever fight the endless amount of demons that plague them and they will fight those demons alone. They are tears of someone who may lose the internal fight if they don’t reveal it.
I shed tears right along side you because I understand these tears. I have recently lived these tears. My tears, my voice, my ownership of being worth my truth brought me freedom. So I know that deep breath you took near the end was that last breath…that last breath and those last tears of absolute desperation before you take the leap that you hope will save you. They saved me. I hope they will save you too.
Others will watch this and they still need to shed these tears. They are still hiding. Pretending. Being silenced. Suffering alone and painting on that happy face. I hope they will be inspired enough by you and your courage to stand proud and speak their truth. Whatever that truth may be.
With the shedding of tears, the declaration of our truths, and finding of our voice we can change the world. When we come out of hiding we discover many are like us. People are attracted to those who are genuine and will often come up beside you as you journey through pulling yourself out of the trenches that have been dug by others and/or ourselves. Truth brings us immense freedom to live the lives we are meant to live and to live it in community with those who know empathy and freedom themselves.
So speak up! Come out of whatever closet you are hiding in! Opening the door is scary but worth every ounce of fear! Someone will be there to catch you…even if that someone happens to be you.
*Jonah’s video went viral and had more than 5 million hits including the people in his community. Four months later he was accepted by many in his highschool and had more than one friend. Still bullied for being gay but strong in his belief that there are a “million reasons” to move forward. Absolutely inspiring and beautiful. Thank you, Jonah. I feel richer for having shared a sliver of your truth and freedom.